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| Lorrie Erli, Executive Director |
(Excerpt taken from Before You Decide published by Care Net)
- When there is a disagreement, you are always wrong and your partner is always right.
- You fear bring up a subject that is important to you because your partner might get really angry.
- Your partner uses alcohol or drugs a lot. After your partner has been drinking or using, he/she can’t remember what was said or done to you.
- Your partner tries to control your access to money, who you spend time with, where (or whether) you work, how you dress, or how you act.
- You feel bad about yourself because your partner calls you names, makes fun of you, or views you a stupid, ignorant, or incompetent.
- Your partner lies to you or cheats on you.
- Your partner promises to change but doesn't.
Often,
people stay in unhealthy relationships because they think they really love the
other person and hope things will get better.
Some relationships do change with a little work and counseling, but if
your partner is unwilling to get outside help or wants you to keep the problems
in your relationship a secret, that may be a sign that your partner doesn't really want to change. Remember, someone
who really loves you will treat you with respect, kindness, and patience. A healthy partner will be honest with you and
value your thoughts and feelings; and, of course, would never be violent or
force sex on you.
