Dating Do's and Don'ts Part 2

Submitted by Eileen Den Bleyker

In the last post on dating do’s and don’ts, we explored the WHO, WHAT, and WHEN of successful dating. In this post, we’ll look at the WHERE and WHY of dating, helping singles to ask themselves questions that will lead to a successful long-term relationship!

      

    1.       WHERE.

In exploring what makes for a successful dating relationship, another question to ask yourself is, “Where am I going in life?” This question will help you to think through your hopes and dreams for the future, before you begin to date. 

For example, where do you see yourself ten years from now?  Do you see yourself with kids or without kids?  Is home ownership important to you?  What are your career aspirations?  Are there things you would like to do in the next few years (e.g., places you want to travel, goals you want to accomplish, etc.)?

Having an idea of where you would like to head in life will help you to identify if you have common direction with a potential partner. 

2.       Why

Ask yourself:  Why am i dating?

Know what is motivating you to want to date at this time.  Ask, why date now?

Are you interested in dating because you feel lonely, bored, restless, and / or need someone else to “complete you”?  If you answered yes to this question, proceed with caution. Other people were never intended to complete you or to resolve the experience of loneliness or boredom.  Setting out with these types of motivations sets your new relationship up for failure.

Asking yourself the Who, What, When, Where, and Why questions before you date will help you to practice your skill at inner reflection and thoughtfulness. Being able to reflect will help you to increase in wisdom and maturity—highly-valued qualities in a person ready to date!