One Woman's True Story -- Choose Love, Choose Life

I received this letter in the mail and asked the writer if I could post her story on our blog to possibly encourage someone facing an unplanned pregnancy.

The choices we make do matter. Some 27 years ago, I chose not to bring my first child into this world. I live with that decision every day.  While I know that God has forgiven me, I still wonder whether I have a son or daughter in heaven with Jesus.

I felt the need to write my story, perhaps to benefit someone like me.  I wanted to have my child and was surprised and glad when I found out I was pregnant.   My child’s father was not. I was young and did not understand the precious gift that God had given us.  Faith in God was not a part of life then; I had heard of God as a child, but was not taught about Him, nor did I understand that God is love.

My bad choices did not stop with the death of my unborn child, but rather contributed to a chain reaction of sorrowful deeds, including suicide attempts and the feeling that I was losing my mind. I cannot begin to explain to you how this “choice” robbed me of peace and joy.

At first I thought of the abortion as just a procedure.  I went into the clinic pregnant and came out not-pregnant.  I went to work the following day as though nothing had happened to me.  It was later when it hit me hard.  Several years later, when I was happily pregnant, I thought I was having a miscarriage and I was sure God was punishing me for aborting my first child.  That’s not how God works (but I didn’t know that then).  I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy and four years later I was blessed again with my second son.

When my second son was about a year old I had a break down.  At one point, I walked the streets of a large city for a day and a half, afraid to go home, for fear that my presence would cause harm to my family if they looked at me.    I remember holding a piece of cardboard in front of my face as strangers passed me by, I wanted to protect them from looking at me, because I believed that my sins would transfer over to them and I didn’t want that to happen.

Over the years I have had feelings of confusion, fear and guilt.  I have been in and out of mental institutions more than a dozen times in two different states.  My point is this…abortion is not just a choice…it is a child.  If I could say anything to someone considering abortion, it would be to please consider making an adoption plan for your child.  I have a nephew that we all adore, my sister and her husband were not able to have children of their own, and God gave them a precious child through adoption.  My nephew’s biological parents bravely chose life and placed their son into my sister’s arms.  What an unselfish act of love -- a true picture of God’s love and Jesus’ heart. 

I have asked the Lord to forgive me for having that abortion and I know there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, but if I could change that day, THAT CHOICE, I would.  I would cherish my child and raise him myself or place him with a loving family through adoption.  I know that not every pregnancy is planned or even wanted, but the child is a gift from God for someone.  Abortion might seem like the answer to your situation, but please think carefully before you do it.  An abortion cannot be reversed.  You must live the rest of your life with your choice.

In closing remember God loves you and your unborn child and He cares about your decision.  God promises to never leave you nor forsake you.  

Pray and place your faith and trust in the Lord today and ask for the courage to choose life for your child.